Why Most Long-Distance Relationships Don’t Work Out?

Long-distance relationships are a whole entity on their own when it comes to love and romance. Couples in these types of setups face unique challenges that continuously threaten to ruin the bonds they work so hard to build. If you are in an LDR, then you know what I am talking about. 

From time and schedule conflicts to trust issues, here is more on why long-distance relationships don’t often work out. That way, if you are currently in one or considering entering one you know exactly what signs to pay attention to. 

9 LDR pitfalls to look out for

Poor quality and quantity of communication

Without contest, poor communication takes the number one spot as the reason why long-distance relationships do not work out. That goes for both quality and quantity. 

With the former, your conversations tend to be very unproductive. Maybe you argue too much. Maybe one or both of you hold back on expressing real emotions. 

With quantity, on the other hand, it is an issue of not spending enough time talking. It could be intentional as you feel the routine is monotonous and burdening. But in some cases, it is purely out of your control whether it be time zone differences or schedule conflicts. 

Monotonous date ideas

The whole movie marathon while on a live video call as a date thing is quite honestly overplayed. There is so much more you can do together as a couple despite the distance. To prevent this monotony from ruining your relationship, here are a few virtual date ideas and games you could try:

  • Taking a class together
  • Virtual tours of each other’s location
  • Virtual escape room adventures
  • Online games including video games and board games
  • Cooking together
  • Working out together

External interference

Speaking of friends and family, they may be another reason why long-distance relationships fail. That is particularly the case when they are openly against the setup or the choice of your partner. The lack of support will weigh down on both of you and make you more and more detached. Sometimes you may need to cut ties with your family to live a healthy life and relationship. 

If you genuinely believe in your love and want to fight for it then surround yourself with people who support the relationship. This positive energy will go a long way towards keeping you sane through the tough times until you are together at last. 

Lack of personal growth and interests

If you are not working on yourself as an individual in a long-distance relationship, it will most likely fail. It is because the lack of positive distraction leaves you with all the time in the world to obsess over simple things in the relationship. Instead of devoting your entire life to dissecting the relationship, why not try personal growth by:

  • Learning a new skill
  • Going back to school
  • Furthering your career
  • Picking up a new hobby
  • Getting a pet or a plant
  • Working on your relationship with friends and family

Insecurities and lack of trust

When you are away from each other, then there is no way to find out what your partner is doing alone. It is a perfect medium for mistrust and insecurities to thrive. Maybe he missed a call at night, and you think he was with someone else. It could be her detached attitude makes you suspect she is not all in anymore. 

These insecurities turn toxic fast and will ruin your relationship in a heartbeat. The best way to salvage the situation is simply through communication. Let your beau know what you feel and have them reassure you. Keeping it to yourself really won’t help. 

Infidelity

infidelity in ldr

Unfortunately, cheating does happen with long-distance relationships. Again, it is an issue of lack of supervision. Unfaithful partners take advantage of this to hide their indiscretions. When you find out for sure that they are cheating, it is entirely up to you to decide what to do. 

Leaving would be the best choice as it is highly likely that with the maintained distance, the cheating may occur again. However, if you choose to stay, you need to take significant steps to ensure that it doesn’t happen again. 

LDRs are expensive

Long-distance relationships do not come cheap. Sometimes, the weight of this financial burden takes a toll on the relationship leading to serious problems. From plane tickets and long-distance call rates to gift deliveries, the charges are more or less inevitable. 

However, there are ways to ensure that green paper is not what comes between you and true love. Some great solutions here include:

  • Have a joint kitty where you save for things like plane tickets
  • Plan your visits during low travel season for discounts
  • Use free communication apps for free calls and video chats
  • Get friends or family nearby to buy and deliver gifts instead of ordering online to save on shipping costs

The death of your sex life 

Intimacy takes a huge hit in relationships where distance is a significant factor. If you both value sex and physical intimacy and are not willing to wait, you will have to find alternatives. Talk about options like toys, virtual sex, and raunchy texts to keep things interesting. Planning your visits in close succession may also help a lot. 

Lack of a definitive finish line

A huge percentage of long-distance relationships that work owe their success to having an end goal in mind. It could be that you plan on moving somewhere new together or maybe the traveling partner will settle down for a career closer home. Not having this goal in mind will leave you miserable and fosters hopelessness which in turn makes you not interested enough to make things work. 

Bottom line

With this information, you have all the ammo to fight and win the battle for your love. Yeah, that’s a bit dramatic but so are LDRs in general. The important thing is to communicate, work on yourself, and actively work towards moving your relationship forward. 

September 16, 2019