Fighting with your long-distance relationship partner can be a challenge. There is something about the conflict in close proximity that makes it so much easier to solve. However, this doesn’t mean that your relationship will crumble from one fight if you live far from each other.
The most important thing in such relationships is to know how to fight the right way. Although, sometimes you may wonder if a long distance relationship is worth it.
Here are nine tips and tricks that should help you air your grievances and hear your partner out. We’ll also share tips on how to fix your relationship after an LDR fight.
How to make your long-distance Relationship fights fair
1. Never, under any circumstances, hang up
That is the number one rule for fair fighting in long-distance relationships – never hang up.
It doesn’t matter how angry you are or how fed up with the argument you have become. It is not only rude and hurtful but also not the most mature way to handle things.
Remember that you are dealing with the challenge of distance, and your partner cannot follow you when you choose to walk away. So, if you get to a breaking point, ask for a recess. You can resume when you both feel calmer.
2. Calm down
Arguing when you are mad is never a good idea. In the heat of the moment, you might end up saying something that you won’t be able to take back. So, relax, take a breath, and then calmly present your point of view. That also makes it easier for your partner to understand where you are coming from.
3. There’s this fun thing called listening. Try it!
It is very important to speak your mind when you disagree with your long-distance partner. However, never assume that you are the only one with something to say or worse – that you are always right. Listen to them and get to understand how they feel. That makes coming to an amicable conclusion so much easier.
4. Choose the right communication channel
With long-distance relationship arguments, the channel used to communicate makes a huge difference. Video calls on are the best way to go. One of the main reasons for this is that you get to see your partner’s face and read their expressions as well as body language. It is also important as unlike texts, you can sustain a steady conversation without constantly interrupting each other.
5. Don’t ignore the small stuff
It is the little things you think that do not matter that will come to bite your long-distance relationship in the ass.
It could be that she doesn’t like how late you are at replying to her texts. Or maybe he feels that he makes all the effort to visit and spend time with you.
These are not exactly relationship death sentences, but they could easily become that if they are left unaddressed. So, if you don’t like something, however insignificant it seems, be open about it before it is too late.
6. Be honest even when it hurts
Honesty is everything in long-distance relationships. When it comes to fighting right, then honesty is the secret that could save your love!
It might hurt at first, but it will make it clear to your partner what you like or don’t like and prevent the recurrence of disappointing behavior.
7. … but do not be mean
It is important to be honest, but you should never use it as a weapon with long-distance relationship arguments. Find ways to speak your truth without hurting your partner. Even if it means sandwiching hard reality between compliments or softer blows.
8. Do not digress
It is very easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment and start arguing about non-issues. You will find yourself arguing about that one time a hundred years ago when he didn’t call you back when the argument was initially about why you are unhappy with your intimacy levels. Try your best to stay focused and handle one issue at a time.
9. Don’t forget you love him/her
Finally, remember that you are on the same team. It doesn’t matter how mad they are getting you right now. You have worked too hard to get where you are, so instead of always fighting each other, fight for each other.
How to Fix a Long-Distance Relationship After a Fight
Fighting in a long-distance relationship is more or less inevitable, whether it is about scheduling differences or feelings of neglect. However, these should not be the undoing of what is otherwise a magical love story.
Instead, strive to learn and grow from the fight. Here are six simple tips to make up after a fight in a long distance relationship
Actively listen and learn
Don’t think of fights as attacks, think of them as a learning opportunity. And actively listening to your partner is the only way to learn what your partner wants, what they don’t want, what makes them insecure, and how to make them happy.
Learn to forgive
You cannot move on with a healthy relationship unless you learn how to forgive after a major fight. Your feelings will be hurt whether or not there is a justifiable reason. If you choose to fix things, then you have to let go of the hurt and give your partner a fresh chance.
Own up to your mistakes
Remember, everyone’s pain is valid even when you feel like you didn’t do anything wrong. What matters the most is that a mistake was made, and your partner was hurt, whether or not it was your intention. To make things easier for both of you, just own up and apologize – if not for the mistake, then for the effect.
Get some space
Some space might do you a lot of good when recovering from a major long-distance relationship fallout. This allows you to cool down and think about what the fight was about. It is also a great way to learn how to live as independent individuals, which definitely strengthens the relationship down the line.
Identify the root of the problem
A lot of times, LDR fights are symptoms of bigger problems that need to be addressed. You could be having a simple squabble over not communicating enough when the real root of the problem is insecurity. Do a deep dive into the situation, and you might find a problem that, once fixed, will make your lives easier.
Fight some more if you must
To fix your relationship, a few more fights may be necessary, but make sure you are not fighting just for the sake of it. Instead, fight to ensure that all issues are addressed as needed without holding back and bubbling up, which will inevitably lead to bigger and messier blow-ups.
In a nutshell, try your best to be civil and understanding. It doesn’t matter whether you are fighting about inconsistent communication or alleged infidelity. The nine tips on how to fight fair should come in handy if you want to keep your long-distance relationship alive.
It is also very important to learn how to move on from the fight. The main thing – learn from your mistakes and forgive each other. That way, you will not repeat the same issues that landed you in that uncomfortable space in the first place.