Staying thousands of miles away from one another and not being able to enjoy the physical presence of your partner can be a hard bite to swallow.
LDRs are not for everyone, but if the love is real and you maintain open and honest communication, you probably have a good chance of making it work for you.
However, if you see too many red flags and your boyfriend’s behavior (and life in general) undergo significant changes that don’t particularly include you, maybe it’s time to put your relationship under a magnifying glass.
Here are 25 signs he is cheating in a long-distance relationship.
The Way You Communicate Has Changed Drastically
Has he stopped saying ‘I Love You’ or calling you cute pet names? Did you use to video-call every night and share details of your life, but now you only get in touch a few times a week and only over text? Pay closer attention – you might be onto something.
He Is Always Unavailable Or Unreachable
Technology is the best friend of every long-distance relationship. When you take physical presence out of the equation, what are you left with? Virtual communication, right? But, if your partner avoids you online, or worse, you can’t reach him over phone calls or text, maybe you need to prepare yourself for the worst.
You Can’t Call Him Spontaneously
It’s absolutely okay if you can’t just pick up the phone and call your partner in a middle of a business meeting. Some companies have stricter no-phone policies than others, so taking a personal call is not always possible unless in case of an emergency.
However, if your LDR boyfriend declines your calls during any time of the day, even on weekends, and prefers to call you only at their convenience, your partner might be cheating and trying to hide your calls from someone else.
It Takes Him Ages To Respond To Your Calls And Text Messages
In addition to the previous three points, frequent basic communication is a building stone of every long-distance relationship. A text takes no more than 5 seconds to type, a call can be short yet loving and heartwarming.
You don’t want your long-distance boyfriend cheating! You deserve someone who would shower you with attention and be excited to share their life with you, even with all the miles in between.
Sudden Bursts of Affection
Sudden bursts of affection is a very subtle sign and one that’s easy to mix up with real signs of love and care.
So how can you tell them apart?
For example, if your partner has been giving you the cold shoulder lately but suddenly shifts all of his attention onto you and starts showering you with gifts and affection, he might be feeling guilty because he has been unfaithful.
But, before you jump to any conclusions, make sure he is not giving you all that love just because he has simply been missing you.
He’s Picking Fights
You will need to take a closer look at your long-distance relationship if your boyfriend starts picking trivial fights for no obvious reason. Unfortunately, the reason exists, and chances are, it’s another person.
He probably lacks the courage to tell you he has met someone else, so he will do anything to make you give up and break up with him.
Don’t fall for his lame excuses and attempts to turn YOU into the bad guy!
Attack Is The Best Form Of Defense
You’ve been doubting his faithfulness for quite some time now, and you finally start asking questions. What do you get in return? More confusion! Now he is guilt-tripping you and pretending to be doubting your loyalty.
Trying to deflect the ‘attack’ and confuse you with some cheap reverse psychology is a major red flag.
He’s Always Asking If You’re Really Happy
LDRs come with their own set of challenges, and staying faithful seems to be among the hardest ones. It’s great when you evaluate the satisfaction levels in your relationship. However, when he keeps asking you whether you feel happy together, your partner might be hoping for a “No.”
If you say you don’t feel happy in your long-distance relationship, he will probably take it as an opportunity to break things off with you and not feel guilty about it.
He’s Stopped Flirting With You
Flirting, romance, and seduction are essential for keeping the spark alive, especially in a long-distance relationship where the physical aspect is mostly absent. If there hasn’t been anything even remotely romantic or flirtatious in your relationship for a long time, your partner’s attention might be flowing in a different direction. When his needs are being met by someone else, he won’t feel the need to seduce you.
Of course, this doesn’t mean your partner needs to flirt with you 24/7 to show you how much he needs and wants you. But if he never does it again, chances are the relationship is in some trouble.
He Always Has An Excuse To Avoid Long-Distance Intimacy
LDR couples are way too familiar with creating intimacy over the phone. Of course, there is nothing better than being curled up on the couch with your partner, but you have to get creative to keep the spark burning. But if this flies out the window for no reason, it might be one of the signs of cheating in a long-distance relationship.
You Know He Cheated In The Past (Not Particularly On You)
“Is my long-distance boyfriend cheating on me?” – a question that probably every girl in a long-distance relationship has asked herself at least once. Things get more complicated if you already know he has a history of cheating, whether with you or someone else. It’s true that people can learn from their mistakes, but it can make you wonder.
You Catch Him Lying to You
One of the obvious signs of cheating is lying. If you start noticing that his stories don’t add up, he is probably trying to hide something from you, or better said someone.
Not saying that you need to turn into a PI and stalk your boyfriend on social media, but if we are honest, our phones are our own tracking devices. If you see a story of him partying with people you’ve never seen before when he clearly said he would be working late… It’s easy to put two and two together.
He Doesn’t Give Straight Answers
Another subtle sign of cheating is when your partner starts leaving out all the details. For example, he will tell you his whereabouts or what he did, but he won’t tell you the whole story as he once used to.
This usually happens when a man starts losing his interest in the relationship; he can’t be bothered to explain because he is not that into you anymore.
He’s Always Busy
When it comes to LDRs, you can’t always be physically present, but you can still find ways to spend quality time with your partner.
If your boyfriend is always busy and makes plans with people outside your relationship but can’t make time for a video call or a simple conversation with you, well, sorry to break it to you, but he might be cheating on you.
He Tries To Dodge Video Calls At Any Cost
This one would make sense. Long distance couples who are truly in love can’t wait to see each other’s faces. No matter how tight their schedules are, they always try to spend some quality time together. But, if he is constantly refusing to get on camera with you (especially at home), he might be afraid of what (or who) you might see.
He’s Cancelling Plans Often
Has your partner started rescheduling or canceling your plans lately? Is his schedule changing so frequently that you can’t keep track? Well, unexpected things do come up, but what are the odds of that happening every week?
While this doesn’t always mean that your partner is cheating in a long-distance relationship, it is a sign that he is trying to avoid you. Whichever it is, he is probably unhappy in your LDR, and that always brings trouble.
The People He Hangs Out With Change Completely
There is this new group of people he can’t seem to stop talking about. But how did he get to know them?
If your partner is seeing someone else, chances are his social circle will change quite significantly. He might even start avoiding his old friends because he will feel guilty and ashamed of his actions. No one likes being judged!
He Doesn’t Want to Introduce You to His (New) Friends
You have been dating for a while, and your boyfriend is still not ready to introduce you to his friends and family. Is he afraid of what you may think of the people he loves, or is he hiding you because he has someone else in his life?
Similarly, if he keeps finding excuses why you can’t meet these new people he’s been hanging out with, something could be up.
If he thinks you are not good enough to meet his parents, you may just want to walk far away. You deserve to be fully loved and accepted, just the way you are.
He Doesn’t Acknowledge Your Relationship on Social Media
Men are indeed more reserved when it comes to putting their life on public display, but complete media silence may be a sign he is trying to hide you, probably from someone else they may be involved with.
This is a definite red flag, especially if your boyfriend:
- has displayed their relationship status on social media before
- is open and very active on social media
- posts tons of pictures with other people but never with you
His Style and Appearance Change Suddenly
People are creatures of habit, and so is your long-distance boyfriend. You are probably well familiar with his style, music preferences, or favorite hobbies. So, if he suddenly starts making changes across multiple aspects of his life, chances are someone else is a big influence in his life.
Just remember the times when you started dating, all that new music, movies, books, places you shared with each other. Is it maybe happening again, but with another person?
He Prefers Visiting You Than Having You Over
If he is sharing his place with a few other people and you have the comfort of your own place, it makes sense. But is that all there is to it? If he NEVER invites you to his place, he might be hiding something from you.
He Gets Angry When You Ask Them If Something’s Wrong
You approach your boyfriend with something that bothers you or makes you feel uncomfortable, and they overreact and blow everything out of proportion. This is usually followed by accusations of your own insecurities and how it’s all in your head.
Let me tell you right away – it’s not. His sudden anger outbursts are probably caused by his attempt to cover up his tracks and hide the fact that he has been cheating on you by making you feel guilty for even asking.
He Deflects When You Ask Him Questions
So, now that you are doubting his loyalty, you will probably start asking questions. If he starts deflecting your questions, doesn’t give a straight answer, or entirely changes the topic, it’s a clear sign something is going on, and he doesn’t want to tell you the truth.
We all tell white harmless lies here and there, but when he comes up with whole stories just to cheat on you, it’s a game-changer.
He’s Not in a Hurry to See You Again Any Time Soon
The ultimate goal of every LDR couple is to reunite once and for all, right? But have you noticed that your partner has lost interest in seeing you soon, let alone living under the same roof? He keeps making up lame excuses when in reality, he is probably losing interest in the relationship.
If this is something you are currently going through, know that it doesn’t always mean your partner may be cheating on you, but it’s a topic you need to address ASAP.
You’ve Stopped Planning Your Life Together
How to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you in a long-distance relationship? Well, this point right here is your wake-up call!
Remember when you used to spend your evenings making all those big plans for the future? You’d talk for hours about where you’d live, what your house would look like, the name of your dog.
If all of a sudden, all that seems like a farfetched fantasy and you don’t even make plans for the next time you see each other, something’s up.
Relationships are already complicated, more so with all those miles in between. Pay attention to whether what you are picking up are real signs of cheating or signs of your personal insecurities. At any rate, don’t jump to conclusions. Think twice before you break the trust.
If you are in a relationship with a girl, then you should check this post: Signs She Is Cheating In A Long-Distance Relationship