Being in a long-distance relationship is a big step. Therefore, you have to put in extra effort to make things work.
Turning a long-distance relationship into a marriage is an even bigger step, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Coupled with a lack of possibilities to spend time together when you’re in an LDR, marriage doesn’t come easy when there are miles between you.
Trust me, I’ve faced the challenges, and even though I felt like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, I’m now married to my then-long-distance boyfriend.
And I can tell you this: If you’re willing to do what it takes and have faith that you’ll succeed, you can live your fairytale too!
Now, if are wondering how to turn a long distance relationship into a marriage, I’ll tell what will help you do that.
10 Tips to Follow to Turn an LDR Into Marriage
While there’s no surefire formula for a successful marriage, there are some things that long-distance couples can do to increase their chances of success. But before anything else, it’s essential to ensure you’re on the same page about your relationship goals.
Are you both interested in eventually getting married, or are you more focused on enjoying your time together while you’re apart?
It’s also crucial to be honest about your needs and expectations. If one person is looking for a more committed relationship while the other is content with things the way they are, that’s bound to create tension. Once you’ve established that you’re both on the same page, here are a few tips to help your long-distance relationship thrive!
1. Set Time Aside to Talk
Whether via text, phone, or video chat, regular check-ins are a must, so make time and plan your schedule if need be – and stick to it!
Staying in touch is crucial whether it’s a nightly phone call or a video chat. It will help you feel connected and keep your relationship strong. So make an effort to spend quality time together, even if it is just via Skype or Facetime.
Long-distance relationships can be lonely, so it is important to find ways to connect with your partner regularly.
And, if you’re thinking about making excuses such as ‘But we’re in different time zones’, maybe you should rethink how invested you are in the relationship!
Remember that communication is key! If something is bothering you, you’re feeling overwhelmed, or you just want to share some good news, don’t hesitate to reach out and talk about it with your partner.
2. Get Creative With Your Communication
We’re lucky to live in the era of the almighty Internet since you have countless options to talk or message each other all day long. But why don’t you show you care by going a step further?
In addition to ‘traditional methods’ like phone calls and text messages, send each other care packages, love letters, and e-cards. You can also send each other little gifts or love notes from time to time. Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you can’t show affection!
If you lack ideas, sending photos, handwritten letters, and small gifts worked for me. The trick here is to be as creative as possible and think about what your partner would appreciate, and eventually, you’ll find ways to connect that work for both of you.
3. Be Trustful and Trusting
Trust is essential in any relationship, but it’s imperative when you’re unable to see each other regularly. So if either of you starts feeling insecure, have an honest conversation about it and work together to find a solution.
However, I’d be lying if I said that trust comes easy, and I believe this is the main reason why long-distance relationships are not for the faint of heart. Of course, the temptations of infidelity are always present, but the same goes for regular relationships.
It’s normal to experience waves of jealousy and insecurity in a long-distance relationship. Still, the key here is to talk about these feelings with your partner so you can work through them together.
And that’s precisely how trust is built!
When someone asks me, “do long-distance relationships work? I say that depends on the trust you have in each other.
4. Handle Disagreements Maturely
All couples fight, and if someone says they never have disagreements, they’re lying. I’m ready to bet on it.
However, how a couple handles their falling-outs makes the difference between successful and failed relationships.
When it comes to long-distance relationships, things can go two ways: you’ll either fight less because you don’t see each other that often, or you’ll fight more because you don’t see each other that often.
No matter the case, remember that you’re an adult, so act like it. Above anything else, remember that you’re in this for the long run. Either your ego or your relationship will prevail, and if you asked me, I’d say sacrifice the ego.
Moral of the story: long-distance relationships can be frustrating, so it is important to talk about any issues that come up along the way. Fight fairly and avoid resorting to personal attacks or passive-aggressive behavior.
5. Stay Busy and Engaged in Your Life
Having hobbies and interests will help you stay sane during separation. It’s important to maintain your own identity in a long-distance relationship.
Make sure you have separate lives as well as shared ones. Keep your interests and friendships. Otherwise, you run the risk of becoming codependent on your partner.
I struggled a lot with the miles between us and being unable to spend time with my partner whenever I felt like it. I felt like I was on the verge of depression, but the truth is, I just had too much alone time on my hands. And I wasn’t happy.
I read a quote that resonated with me:
No one can make you happy until you’re happy with yourself first.
I hope it helps you too.
6. Plan Fun Activities for When You’re Finally Together Again
Anticipating time spent together will help you get through tough times apart. Make a list of all the things you want to do together like this LDR bucket list, and look forward to crossing them off when you’re finally reunited.
Whether going to a new restaurant or checking out a tourist attraction in your city, planning something to look forward to will keep the spark alive.
If possible, plan regular visits and “mini-vacations” so that you have something to look forward to together. Anticipation can also be fun (if you know what I mean, wink, wink).
And when you’re together, make sure to cherish every moment!
7. Find Ways to be Intimate
Even though you can’t always be physically together, find ways to be intimate with one another, whether it’s sexting or sending each other naughty photos/videos. This will help keep things steamy until you can finally be in each other’s arms again.
Sexual frustration is real in a LDR, and I’m not happy to admit that.
Not all of us are comfortable with dirty talks or sending nudes, but since you’re in a long-distance relationship, you’re already out of your comfort zone, so I don’t see the issue.
Dress up for your partner (and then undress) and let them enjoy the view, even if it’s only virtual. If you’re up for it, you can book a photoshoot, send them some high-quality nudes, and wait for the late-night call. No need to thank me.
8. Plan Regular Date Nights
Skyping while cooking dinner together or watching the same movie at the same time has helped me feel like I’m actually on a date.
Go ahead and schedule time for fun. Whether playing games or watching movies, find ways to enjoy each other’s company and laugh together.
And, just because you’re apart and you’ll probably be attending the date from the comfort of your home doesn’t mean you don’t have to get ready.
Having dinner over Skype? Dress for the occasion.
Having drinks together? Put some makeup on.
Make sure you’re all in for your date nights. Get as creative as possible and do what you’d typically do if you were by each other’s side.
9. Be supportive of Each Other’s Goals
Talk about your goals and dreams for the future early on, and remember to be supportive of each other’s career goals and personal aspirations. This will help you both feel motivated and supported in your pursuits.
A relationship, and eventually marriage, is a partnership, which means supporting each other’s dreams and goals. If one partner is always trying to hold the other back, it will lead to resentment, which is poison for any relationship.
There’s a fair chance that your aspirations will not match at the beginning of the relationship, but only by supporting your partner can you develop the same goals.
10. Don’t Rush Things and Solve Past Issues
Nothing worth having comes easy… or, in this case, fast.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment, so there’s no need to rush into it. Instead, take your time getting to know each other, and ensure you’re on the same page before making any serious decisions.
Let things run their course, but make sure you hash out any lingering issues or grievances between you two so that you can start your marriage with as clean of a slate as possible.
No one likes being blindsided by old arguments or resentment on their wedding day (or any day), so address these issues head-on before tying the knot. And resolving the past takes time, so give it time.
A long-distance relationship takes time and patience, but if both partners are committed to making it work, then there is no reason it can’t blossom into a beautiful marriage one day!
Are you Ready to Turn Your LDR into Marriage?
If you are serious about making a go of it, the above tips can help you navigate the rocky landscape of an LDR and ultimately tie the knot.
Try to have fun and enjoy the unique challenges and opportunities of being in a long-distance relationship. Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to how to turn a long-distance relationship into marriage, but with patience and understanding, you can make it happen! And if you decide to go on with your LDR once you are married, make sure to read our guide on how to survive living apart from your spouse.