The Guide to Long-Distance Marriage

I do! Now see you later!

Being in a long-distance marriage is a unique experience. You might have thought your long-distance fling was hard, but this is a whole other ballpark. What makes it hard is also what makes it bearable, and this is the fact that you have both agreed to a long-term commitment.

So how do you make it work?

How to ensure the distance does not sow weakness in what you both have worked so hard to build?

Here are a few tips that could come in handy whether you are dating a foreigner and want to marry him, or one of you frequently travels for work.

How to make it work

Find ways to communicate

Communication is the surest way to ensure that your bond remains strong despite the unique challenges. Talk as often as you can. It could be anything from a sweet message in the middle of their day to a routine evening check-in phone call.

With a long-distance marriage, it is particularly important to switch things up in terms of the modes used to keep things interesting.

Some of your options here include:

  • Phone calls
  • Emails and texts
  • Letters
  • Video chats
  • Voice and video messages

Be open about your expectations

Just because you are married doesn’t mean that all your needs and expectations have been met. It is essentially a relationship just like any other. As such, you are entitled your needs, and you should make them very clear to each other.

It could be that you still want to have virtual romantic dates despite the distance. Maybe you want your intimate life to be a bigger priority. Be open about it all, and that way, you will not end up disappointed.

Keep the romance alive

ldr marriage with foreigner

One of the biggest causes of long-distance marriage divorce is a lack of romance. It, in turn, weakens the bond you already have and provides a platform for destructive negative thoughts to thrive. So how do you keep things hot and romantic in a long-distance marriage?

  • Send romantic letters
  • Send care packages and gifts
  • Plan surprise visits
  • Get each other nice treats

Make your insecurities known

Long-distance relationships work when they are built and maintained on trust; more so in the marriage setup. If for any reason you have trust issues, then you need to air them as soon as possible. That allows your partner to address them and make any necessary changes to make you feel more secure.

Don’t stop dating each other

Another one of the most common long-distance marriage problems is the neglect of an active dating life. Being married doesn’t mean you stop trying. Go out on dates and make new memories together, and your relationship will thank you for it.

You are probably wondering to yourself how exactly you will do this given the hundreds or even thousands of miles between you two. Good news – there are very many LDR date ideas for you to try out. Here are a few of the most fun and easiest to execute.

  • Video chat movie marathons
  • Virtual room exploration
  • Synchronized workout sessions
  • Virtual location tours
  • Play video games together
  • … or any other games for that matter

Visit each other as much as possible

The value of spending quality physical time as a married couple in this type of setup cannot be emphasized enough. If one or both of you regularly commute for work, then you need to find a way to make time for each other. Get vacation days. Postpone meetings. Do whatever it takes to get that time.

If it is a case of marriage to a foreigner or someone from a different part of the country, then plan as many visits back and forth as possible. The physical proximity to each other makes a world of difference.

Take advantage of technology

Another tip on how to make a long-distance marriage work is by using available tech. These days, there is an app for everything. These range from messaging apps to apps that help you keep track of each other’s day. Here are some awesome ones worth checking out.

  • Couple
  • Sesame
  • Without
  • The Ice Break
  • LokLok
  • We-Connect

Work intentionally towards a common goal

Finally, if you want to figure out how to survive a long-distance marriage, then you need to have an end goal in mind. Is one of you going to have to move? Will someone have to have a career change? Talk about this and figure out the way forward, and it will help give you both peace of mind.

August 16, 2019