All relationships are a work in progress, but LDRs come with their own plethora of obstacles you will need to overcome if you want the relationship to succeed.
Some relationships have been long-distance from the start, and with others, it’s just a temporary thing.
Whichever your situation may be, you need to figure out whether staying together with your long-distance partner is the healthiest choice for you.
Is this something you can make work together as a couple, or is it already becoming too much to deal with?
Sometimes, distance is not the problem but the relationship itself. And there are some telltale signs your LDR isn’t working, but you haven’t been paying much attention.
In this article, I’ll discuss how to know when to call it quits in a long-distance relationship.
You Talk to Each Other Less and Less
The glue in a long-distance relationship isn’t quality time, it’s communication.
Communication through phone calls, video chats, and any other way that helps you keep the image of your partner present in your life.
While normal couples get the luxury of any love language, couples in LDRs have to work with communication.
If you are in a long-distance relationship and do not communicate for days, something is wrong. Of course, communicating every day may be difficult if you’re both leading busy lives, but anything longer than two days is way too long, in my opinion.
The desire to meet up is no longer there
Flying across states every weekend is expensive. Driving through the country is also pricey, and that is something that lots of LDR couples struggle with.
Meeting in person, however, is essential for long-distance and international couples. The desire to meet should be present, and actively seeking each other out is also a necessity.
If neither you nor your partner feel the need, then your relationship may be on the rocks.
The foundation is not strong enough
When relationships get hard, couples can always fall back to friendship.
If your relationship got tossed into a long-distance one before you got to know each other completely, you might find it harder to fight for it together or to stay afloat when the waves of distance hit you.
Your interests are no longer in Line
If the plan from the beginning was to be separated for a little while and then reunite later to build a life together and now your partner is changing their mind, your relationship is showing major red flags.
If you were wondering when to call it quits in your long-distance relationship, it would be the moment when you’re no longer on the same page regarding fundamental interests like sharing a home or creating a family.
Spending time together is not a priority Anymore
You don’t have to be the priority of your partner 24/7, but they should still display a healthy degree of interest in you. If you feel like you never talk or “hang out” anymore, that might indicate a problem.
Of course, your partner may be just extra busy these days. Maybe they’ve taken up a new hobby or have more responsibilities at work. Maybe school is taking up more of their time than it used to.
Whatever the case, if it seems like your partner never makes an effort to “spend time” together anymore, you should talk it out. For a long-distance relationship to succeed, both partners need to put in the time and effort. And you need to make sure whether your partner is still willing to do that.
They Make Empty Promises
Just like high expectations, empty promises, too, can ruin a relationship.
It’s almost inevitable that the distance will reveal traits of your partner that won’t sit well with you. And that’s okay as long as it’s not a major red flag.
Sometimes, it’s okay to let it go, but sometimes, things like extreme jealousy and unfounded mistrust are hard to swallow.
Partners often promise to change when confronted regarding their behavior, but the change is usually short-lived, and then you are quickly back to square one.
If this has been giving you a headache, maybe it’s time to call it quits in your long-distance relationship.
You Are Not Trying To Make Things Work
The first moment you feel like not giving a damn whether things work out or not, it’s time to ‘pack your bags.’
Long-distance relationships require a lot of work and effort. Let’s not fool ourselves here, an LDR can be absolutely beautiful, but at the same time, it’s high-maintenance and will need both of you working as a team.
If the partners stop caring how their actions will affect the other and what consequences may follow, love is no longer a priority in your long-distance relationship.
The wandering eyes begin
There is a saying that goes, “The eyes see what the heart is looking for,” and it’s true. The likelihood of finding love with someone else doubles when you shift focus away from your partner.
If you feel you are no longer the center of your partner’s world, then they may have decided to move on without you.
YOU MAY ALSO WANT TO READ: How to End a Long-Distance Relationship
Your relationship frustrates you
People get into relationships for many reasons, the major one being companionship.
The thing about a good partner is that you get to grow together, you are challenged to be better, and ultimately, regardless of what goes on in the world, you have a friend, a sanctuary.
At any one time, when a relationship starts taking happiness from you, it is not worth being in. If the thought of your relationship brings you anguish and turmoil, you are better off alone.
You are staying in it for the wrong reasons
The only time you should stay in a relationship that is on the rocks is if both of you are in love and want to work it out. If you are driven by guilt or are afraid to leave on account of fear, or the opinion of others, then you need to rethink your priorities.
Do not get yourself hurt just because you do not want to hurt your partner. You always come first – it is not selfish, it’s healthy.
Some relationships are not forever, and that is okay. The higher the expectations, the bigger the disappointments. Don’t get stuck in a dysfunctional relationship that will push you deeper into depression out of habit.
The most important thing for people in LDRs is not the end but the beginning. It is important to walk into the relationship with enthusiasm and a little sprinkle of optimism.
So even if your partner is a Latvian woman, a Chinese man, or you are dating a Mexican guy, a long-distance relationship may still work. But even if it doesn’t, a break-up is not the worst thing to embrace.