Being in a long-distance relationship is like having a full-time job. It is like a delicate plant that needs extra tender love and care from both you and your partner.
One of the best ways to ensure that it just doesn’t wilt and die is to ask the right questions. That will allow you to get what your partner is thinking or feeling, express yourself, and run any necessary diagnostics on your relationship.
To help you out a little, here are 37 long-distance relationship questions that you and your beaux should answer to help you learn about yourselves and each other.
4 Relationship Questions To Ask Before Starting An LDR
Are We Going To Be Exclusive?
It is vital to ask this particular question before starting your relationship. Given the distance and the fact that you cannot keep constant tabs on your partner, you cannot afford to make any assumptions. Ensure that you are both on the same page as far as exclusivity is concerned to prevent anyone from getting hurt.
What Makes You Happy In Life?
You cannot be the only source of joy and fulfillment in your partner’s life, considering that you are going to be so far away. And they cannot do that for you.
Therefore, finding out what makes both of you happy, in addition to being together, is very important. It allows you to narrow down activities that could help you get through the hard times in your LDR. Having interesting hobbies or volunteering is what makes us grow individually.
What Are Your Individual Goals?
What do you both want to learn and hope to achieve for yourselves? It could be career-wise, socially, or even spiritually. It is essential to ask this question to assess how well you’ll both fit into each other’s long-term goals. Is there anything you can do to help? Do your visions complement each other or clash? Trust me, this will save you a heck of a lot of trouble down the line.
Would Your Friends And Family Support Us?
It is vital to have support outside the relationship if it is to work out. With long-distance relationships, in particular, having a great group of friends and close family around will help you adapt better. You will not have to worry about being lonely as you are surrounded by people who love you and are rooting for the relationship.
19 Long-Distance Dating Questions To Ask For A Better Relationship
When it comes to figuring out whether or not your long-distance relationship actually stands a chance, you need to be prepared to ask the important conversation-starting LDR questions.
Here are 19 of them and the impact they could have to help us figure out how to make things work.
What Are We?
Before anything else, it is very important that you figure out where you stand with each other. Is it something casual and non-exclusive? Is it something solid that both of you are fully and equally invested in? Defining the relationship is super important and will definitely save you a lot of headaches down the line.
How Are You Dealing With The Distance?
Remember that there are two people in this relationship. So everything you are going through, they are experiencing the same, from loneliness to crippling longing for each other. Since no one understands this situation better than your partner, it’s a great question to ask to strengthen your bond.
Do You Fully Trust Me?
That is one of the most critical long-distance dating questions, as trust is what these setups survive on. You need to trust that the love is still strong. You need to believe that there is faithfulness and loyalty. Finding out whether there are any trust issues or insecurities allows you to adjust appropriately to make each other comfortable.
Are You Happy With Our Relationship At The Moment?
A relationship is to be enjoyed and not tolerated. We all know how challenging and frustrating LDRs can be, but they are also profound, authentic, and full of love. If your partner isn’t exactly an open book, don’t be afraid – ask them how they feel being part of this relationship. Are they enjoying themselves or barely surviving it? The answer will tell you whether you are moving in the same direction or your paths are diverging.
What Is The Greatest Weakness Of Our Relationship?
No relationship is milk and honey only. It’s okay to have low points as long as they don’t make up the majority of your relationship. That’s why it’s a good idea, from time to time, to take a good look at your relationship and analyze your strengths and weaknesses as a couple. Then, you can go from there and work on improving the things you are struggling with the most.
Do You Feel Like I’m Always There For You?
Ask your LDR partner if they are getting the support they need from you. What is something you can do to make them feel heard and understood? Providing emotional support is crucial for the growth of any relationship, especially in an LDR, since the physical factor is mostly missing.
If your partner opens up and says they need more from you, don’t take it as an attack on you. Instead, try to walk a mile in their shoes, talk about what you can do, and put an actual effort into improving the situation.
What Can We Do To Draw Us Closer To Each Other?
You need to find ways to bridge the physical and emotional gaps that are inevitable with long-distance relationships.
Every couple has their way of doing this. For example, it could be that you want to plan more physical meetups. In this case, you will need to figure out logistics in terms of finances and scheduling. On the other hand, it could be something more straightforward, like talking more, meditating, or even therapy.
Whatever the case, you need to be continually finding new habits to bond, close the distance, and strengthen your relationship.
How Do You Deal With Missing Me?
This question gives you both an idea of how the distance makes you feel and how well you are coping with the distance. If it is something unhealthy like binge drinking or wallowing, asking this question allows you to shed light on the problem. You can then come up with creative alternatives that will enable you to both get through the rough patches.
What’s The Worst Part About Being In An LDR?
The answer is kinda obvious here – the distance. But apart from being away from each other, what else do you think they would like to be different? Ask your partner to be specific and give you the reasons why that particular thing is the worst part of being in a long-distance relationship. It’s nice to see your union from a different angle, and it will help you understand them so much better.
How Do You Think Our Relationship Has Evolved Since We First Got Together?
The answer to this question will let you know whether you are becoming closer or growing apart. It is super important to move in the same direction and have matching opinions on life-defining things like marriage, forming a family, and having children. Ensure you always ask for their opinion, especially if your partner is more emotionally reserved and doesn’t open up easily.
Is Our LDR Holding You Back?
This is a make-it-or-break-it kind of question, so you have to be prepared for the answer coming your way. If we are completely honest, LDRs are no walk in the park.
They require a lot of patience, understanding, trust, and even sacrifice. Unfortunately, love isn’t always enough to make it through, especially when you don’t know when you will be closing the distance.
But remember, even if you feel the relationship holds you back, you are together for a reason!
Are You Up For Some Kinky Fun?
Physical intimacy usually takes a huge hit when it comes to long-distance relationships. And no, we are not talking about cozy cuddles and forehead kisses here. Healthy sex life is important to maintain as a couple in this situation. So, it would be a great idea to consider making things a little spicier by introducing phone or Skype sex to the relationship.
What Don’t You Like About Me/This Relationship?
This question allows you to fix any issues in the relationship that could spell doom for it. Maybe she doesn’t like how you ignore her texts. Or it could be that he is not comfortable with how few your physical visits are. Air these issues out and find solutions that work for you both.
Do You Think The Distance Has Changed Us Individually?
LDRs offer a different kind of experience when it comes to love and relationships. The way you understand communication and trust is entirely different from what regular couples share and experience.
Ask your partner about their personal growth and development since the beginning of your relationship. Knowing how they experience themself as a part of this union will help give you a different perspective of yourselves as a couple.
Did You Think LDRs Could Work Before You Met Me?
You would be surprised by the number of people who don’t believe in the success of long-distance relationships. Maybe your partner was one of them too, but meeting you made them change their mind. It’s a learning process, and if the people you love discourage you, help them understand how LDRs work and what you do as a couple to support and encourage each other while spending time apart.
Do You Prefer Gifts Over Hearing Praise?
Learning your partner’s Love Language is crucial in every relationship, but especially in LDRs. Whether it’s spending quality time together or showering them with gifts and attention, you need to understand how they communicate love in a relationship. If you fail to meet each other’s needs, get ready for a lot of frustration.
What Are We Doing Next Date Night?
Just because you are hundreds of miles apart, it doesn’t mean that you will not go out on dates or want to celebrate your relationship anymore. If anything, they are more relevant to you and your partner than they would be to couples who live near each other.
Answer this question by setting plans on things that you will do together while you are apart, so you have a running program to bring you closer. It could be anything from a movie marathon to a fun wine date over a video call. Here’s a list of some virtual date ideas to choose from.
What Would You Like To Do The Next Time We Get Together?
Planning your next get-together is a great way to bring the spirits up if the distance has already started taking a toll on your partner. Ask them about ideas and places they’d like to see or plan a vacation together. It will cheer both of you up, and you won’t have to spend time planning when you meet in person.
What Is Our End Game?
Where is the relationship going? What are your goals as a couple? These are perhaps the most important questions to ask in a long-distance relationship, especially if both of you are serious about making it last. As you discuss this, also make sure to have timelines and specific plans on what you intend for the relationship.
14 Questions To Ask Your Long-Distance Boyfriend To Get To Know Each Other Better
What TV Show Are You Currently Obsessed With?
This one is a fun long distance relationship question to ask your partner just to get to know them. However, it could also be a major tool to help bring the two of you closer than before. Find out what they are currently hooked on and plan a movie marathon date around it.
What Is One Cuisine You Have Always Wanted To Try?
A great way to bond as a couple in a long-distance relationship is to try out a virtual cooking class together. Or you could have a cook-off as a way to spend time together doing something fun.
Finding out what cuisine your partner may be interested in could help in this case, as you get to cross something off of each other’s bucket list at the same time.
What Is Your Ideal Vacation?
As a long-distance couple, traveling is pretty much inevitable. However, instead of sticking to the occasional visits, why not make things a little interesting and hang out by exploring somewhere new? Have your partner describe their perfect vacation and work together towards making it a reality.
What’s Your Favorite Family Tradition?
This is an important question because it will give you an idea of what your life together may look like. When partners come from totally different backgrounds and religions, chances are they celebrate different family holidays or at least in a different way. Now it’s your turn to create your own tradition.
What’s Your Favorite Childhood Memory?
Many of the habits we formed as children we take into our adulthood. Figuring out what your LDR partner loved doing as a kid and how he spent his favorite moments may teach you a lot about who they are and makes them the person you fell in love with. It can be fun, but it can also be a doorway to keep the conversation going.
What’s Something You Hated As A Child?
This seems to be the logical follow-up question. If there is something your partner particularly dislikes or is against now, it may stem from childhood. It’s also a subtle way to figure out whether it’s an open sore you need to be careful with. Be prepared for anything with this question. It can be fun and light, but it may reveal a darker side to your partner.
Which Artist Or Podcast Are You Into Right Now?
Don’t get alarmed if you like acid jazz and your partner prefers old-school hip-hop. You need to learn to love your differences. Your unique tastes in music, books, movies, and shows can bring the much-required diversity to your long-distance relationship. Make a playlist of your all-time favorite tracks and share it with your partner, and they can return the favor. Give something different a chance, and you might meet your partner on a deeper level.
What’s Your Favorite Way Of Spending Time By Yourself?
With all those miles in between, LDR couples can overcompensate by spending every spare minute on video calls or chatting. However, don’t forget that we all need some me-time. Ask your partner what they like doing when you are not “together.” Do they like going to the gym or prefer to relax in bed over a nice movie?
What Advice Would You Give To Your Younger Self?
This one is a food-for-thought kind of question. It’s a great way to deepen the conversation and make your partner contemplate what advice they would give to their younger self if they ever got the chance. You can take it one step further and ask what they would say to their older self.
Questions like these are an amazing way to ground yourselves in the present moment and just go to a place where you feel safe and protected. Do this as an exercise, and you will learn so much about one another.
What’s The One Thing You Have Always Wanted To Try But Never Have?
It’s an interesting ice-breaker question. Find out what’s on your partner’s bucket list by asking them about the things they always dreamt of doing but never got the chance to do. I promise this has the potential to turn into such a fun conversation. You can even plan an adventure together, like bungee jumping, in case you both want to do it. It would be so much cooler if you could cross things off your lists together.
Which Of Your Friends Of Family Members Inspires You The Most?
You can learn a great deal about your partner’s friends and family by asking this question. Usually, the answer will reveal the person they feel closest to or the one that makes them feel loved and safe.
Additionally, finding out why they look up to this person will reveal a specific set of character traits. You may or may not resonate with these qualities, so it’s an excellent way to meet your partner on a deeper level early on.
What Is Your Dream Job?
Another question that will help you get to know your LDR partner better. Ask them about their current job. Do they love it or can’t wait to find something different? If so, what would be their ideal workplace? Do they prefer the corporate world, or would they like to try being an entrepreneur?
These questions can also help you understand your partner’s relationship with money and their sense of responsibility and dedication.
Would You Change Anything About Yourself?
If you want to find out about your partner’s insecurities, ask them what they would change about themself. This isn’t limited to physical appearance only. You would be surprised what has the power to make people lose their confidence and self-esteem.
Once you know their “weak spots,” if they decide to reveal them, you can encourage your partner to feel better about themselves. Make sure they know you love them just the way they are.
What Are Your Money Goals?
Yes, money conversations may sound shallow, but they are also necessary. When you are a serious LDR couple that sees a future together, money talks are a must on your awkward-conversations-to-have list. This question will also tell you how often you will be able to travel to see each other.
On top of it, when you start living under the same roof, your financial needs and responsibilities will shift fast, so you need to know how your partner handles money to protect yourself.
Asking and getting answers to long-distance relationship questions both before you enter one and while you’re already in one will offer you much-needed insight to make the most of your relationship. So, don’t be afraid to ask. And listen to the answers carefully.
That way, if there are any cracks in the foundation, you can get to work on them before it is too late. And if everything is okay, you can prevent any destructive issues from cropping up in the future. And don’t forget that communication is the key! Long-distance relationships don’t work out without great communication.