Why Comparing Your Relationship To Someone Else’s is a Bad Idea

We live in a day and age where pretty much everyone is obsessed with sharing their lives online. This kind of sharing creates unrealistically high standards for everything from beauty to culinary skills. I mean, it’s already hard enough not burning down the house when making an omelet without the pressure of making it look like something from a five-star chef.

One thing that has been affected negatively by the social media craze is how relationships today function. With things like #bae and #couplegoals, it seems like there is always some new idea of perfection that your relationship needs to conform to. Comparing yourselves to these seemingly ideal setups is never a good idea.

Here are nine reasons why you can’t compare relationships.

Nine reasons to avoid comparing love

Not everything is as it seems

No one on the internet wants to make themselves look bad. It is therefore highly unlikely that what couples post online is a completely accurate representation of what happens in real life. They may seem perfect with those romantic getaways, expensive gifts and physical displays of affection that melt your heart. But the truth is that they fight, struggle and probably cannot stand each other offline like any other ordinary couple.

It may make you bitter and resentful

Comparing your relationship with those you see whether online or offline will make you bitter. This bitterness comes about when you see that someone gets treated the way you wish your partner would treat you. Maybe you like PDA, and your partner just won’t come through for you. Or it could be that you crave some grand romantic gesture that your beau has no idea about. Whatever it is, it will make you bitter and angry about things that aren’t even real issues.

… or it could make you vain

On the other hand, comparing your relationship to others’ could make you full of yourself. Arrogance is what happens with couples that think that they are the strongest, closest or most powerful in the universe. News flash, honey, there is no such thing as the best couple ever. It doesn’t matter how connected you feel. There are just too many variables involved in relationships for you to quantify their value accurately.

You will start taking things for granted

Taking things for granted is connected to the feelings of resentment and bitterness associated with this unhealthy comparison. You focus so much on what your partner is not doing for you that you forget to appreciate what they do. If you don’t appreciate your partner, it spells disaster for the relationship.

It gives you unrealistic hopes

Single folk are most likely to have unrealistic hopes. You troll the internet going through couples goals tags and start filling your head with ideas on what a relationship should be. When these expectations don’t get met, you might end up feeling like your relationship is a failure when it is just what happens in real life.

Every relationship and couple is different

Avoid comparing yourself to other couples because no two relationships are the same. It doesn’t matter what similarities your situations share. The fact that there are different individuals involved shifts the dynamics of the interaction. Shifts mean that they handle things, both good and bad, drastically different. In a nutshell, relationships are too unique to be compared fairly.

It creates an unhealthy sense of competition

Some people react to what they see online by getting the urge to outdo their made-up competitors. You think if they could do it then you can do better. Competing takes away from the purity and genuineness that every healthy relationship should have and replaces it with toxicity and immaturity.

It is a massive waste of your time

You are in a healthy long distance relationship where you are fairly happy and content. Instead of wasting your time trying to find faults by comparison, why not use it to strengthen your connection. This focus saves you not only time but also physical and mental energy for a better relationship.

Your happily ever after will come at its own time

Everyone has their own life and timeline. Just because your best friend from high school got married at 23, it doesn’t mean that you should. Understanding this and accepting it as the truth will save you a lot of emotional stress. So do not be too hard on yourself or your relationship. If you put in the hard work and some patience you too will get your version of perfection.

November 1, 2018