Dating a foreign person is exciting. As you have your online chats or face-to-face conversations, you learn more about who the person is and what they like. You also learn things about the person’s culture, country, and way of life. All of these can be exhilarating and refreshing because it is all new.
However, you need to remember that dating a foreign person doesn’t come without a fair share of challenges. Sometimes, LDRs just don’t work.
But don’t be afraid! I am here to help you out! This guide will share information about:
- The questions you should ask before dating a foreigner
- Things to expect when dating someone from a different country
- How to make your relationship work
Before Dating A Foreign Person, You Have To Consider The Following
Dating a foreigner has its downs, just like any other relationship. In most cases, it involves communicating through the internet while being in a long-distance relationship. It could be worth it, but we all know that it requires a lot of work for the relationship to become successful.
Before you jump into this situation, it’s best to ask yourself the following questions so you can be certain you are ready:
1. Am I Emotionally Ready To Date Someone Who Isn’t With Me Physically?
The longing you will feel will be great. I once dated someone from New York. We were already friends before he left my city for the Big Apple. When his family migrated, we began talking online and pursued an online relationship. When we were still a couple, we always wished that we had gotten into a relationship before he left because the longing to be with each other was too great.
2. Will The Communication Barrier Be A Big Deal?
Communication is a big deal when you are in a long-distance relationship. It would be great if you could both speak English fluently. However, there will still be misunderstandings, especially if English isn’t your first language. For example, if you start dating a Brazilian man (they are so hot, BTW), you would have to learn a few words of Portuguese.
You need to figure out if you have enough patience when this happens.
3. Am I Ready To Stand Up For Our Relationship?
Whether you like it or not, there will be those who will blatantly show how they dislike you dating a foreign person. On your date’s side, it is probably the same.
I remember when I first started going out with a gentleman named John. He was great, but his family wasn’t too keen on him dating someone from a different country. Eventually, John caved in, and we went our separate ways.
4. Can I Keep Up With The Communication Needs Of This Relationship?
One of the hardest parts of dating a foreigner and being in a long-distance relationship is the timing. Everything can get screwed up easily when you have different time zones. It would be a total disaster if your morning time would be your date’s nighttime. One has to sacrifice and compromise to maintain good communication.
5. Financially, Is It Possible For Us To Visit Each Other?
If neither of you in a relationship is financially capable of visiting each other, it will be even more challenging. Yes, it’s possible to save up, but saving requires time. For you, that’s time lost. If you had the means financially, you would be able to book a plane ticket anytime and go.
6. Will I Be Able To Get Over My Trust Issue?
Let’s be honest. We hold some baggage from our previous relationships and take the baggage with us wherever we go. If one of your issues is about trust, you have to know that your suspicious way of thinking will worsen in a long-distance relationship. You won’t be able to see your partner 24/7. With trust issues, you have this feeling that your partner is lying in some way even though the person isn’t. Would you be able to get over this?
7. Will We Have The Same Level Of Commitment To Make The Relationship Work?
Lastly, let’s talk about how committed you and your future date will be. Do you remember the guy from New York I told you about earlier? We weren’t really on the same page when it came to commitment. He wanted to focus on his art and career while I was trying to make our relationship work.
It was like I was investing 100% while he only put in about 50% (the other 50% went to his career). I became frustrated, and I felt neglected. As you may have guessed, it did not work out at all.
The problem with most of us is that we jump into dating a foreigner with the wrong perspective. When the challenges arrive, we are not equipped to handle any of them because we went into a situation that we thought would be easy and problem-free. We usually focus too much on the lovey-dovey stuff that we fail to see and prepare ourselves for the difficulties.
Now that you’ve done some thinking about whether you’re ready to date a foreigner let’s move on.
Things to expect when dating a foreigner
So, you’ve answered all of the above questions and decided you want to go for it; you’re ready to date a foreigner. Well, here’s what you need to know – dating someone from a foreign country isn’t going to go flawlessly as you see in Hollywood movies. On the contrary, there could be some unique challenges at hand.
Here are 6 challenges and realities of dating someone from a foreign country:
And just like all humans (including you), they’ll be flawed. Many people may be attracted to the idea of dating someone from a foreign country because they may think that many of the common flaws that exist with people in their country do not exist with people from another country.
Sure, there may be big differences in your cultural background, but at the end of the day, they’re a person just like you with their own unique personalities and talents and the flaws that come with them.
You need to consider cultural differences if you want things to work out. Cultural differences are another way of saying that you and your partner will have a different approach to dating and your relationship based on your own culture and upbringing.
You’ll need to learn about the other’s way of seeing things and be patient along the way. Consider spending time with one another and while in one another’s countries and cultures. This should be an eye-opening experience for both of you.
This one might be a problem if you don’t speak the same language. The language will also depend on your respective language skills. If it is a problem, though, you can try to teach each other your languages (which alone can be a romantic experience).
Traveling between countries can be a hassle. Not only does it take time to travel and require you to take time out of your respective schedules back home, but it’s also expensive. It’s just something to be prepared for.
Seeking Approval from Your Partner’s family
Certain cultures do not exactly encourage dating a foreigner, which could lead to problems with securing approval from your partner’s parents. At the end of the day, it depends on the culture they’re coming from, and more specifically, from their family.
You’ll Still Grow Together
Through it all, though, you’ll still grow together regardless of how the relationship turns out. Dating someone internationally gives you the chance to experience another culture, travel more, and make new friends across borders.
How to make it work
So, with the above challenges in mind, how can you make the relationship work? Here are five tips you can try:
Try To Learn Their Culture and Language
Regardless of whether there are language barriers, try to speak one another’s languages, and you can teach each other as well. Also, travel to and spend time together in your partner’s home country. It’s vitally important for both of you to experience the other’s culture to truly understand one another.
Keep The Long Term In Mind
Where do you see yourself with this person in one year? Five years? Ten years? Think about where you see the two of you and be open about that with them.
Spend A Lot of Time Together
This may be obvious, but it needs to be mentioned. Spend a lot of time with one another as you would in any other relationship. If you’re long-distance, talk with each other via phone or video call each day (here are some long-distance relationship questions you could ask your partner).
You should also text throughout the day to keep your partner up to date with your daily life. Act as if you’re both physically present. And eventually (preferably sooner rather than later), you’ll live together happily.
Set Aside Money
If you are indeed in a long-distance relationship with them, you’ll need to prioritize visiting one another…and that costs money. Have honest discussions about what the financial cost of traveling to see each other will be, who will be paying for what, and so on.
The only way to maintain trust in a long-distance relationship is for both parties to be open and honest with each other. That’s not always easy, and it may take some time before you become comfortable opening up about your more sensitive feelings or events in your life. The best way to open up and stay honest is to communicate with one another often because in doing so, you’ll gradually become more comfortable with opening up.
And there you have it, the top questions to ask yourself before dating a foreigner! Plus, some of the challenges and realities you’ll face and tips on making it work.
Ask yourself if you see yourself in the long term with this person and what kind of a future you want with them. Then consider whether that future will make it worth all of the challenges you will face and the cultural barriers in your way. If the answer is yes, there’s no reason not to give them a shot.