If you’ve been in a long distance relationship for a while, thoughts like “I think my long distance girlfriend is cheating” probably pop up now and then.
We can’t vouch for the level of accuracy, but several studies suggest that people in long distance relationships are actually not more likely to cheat. In fact, these studies show that factors like character and the quality of a relationship are the main reasons behind infidelity, not physical distance.
Of course, most people dread the thought of being cheated on, so if you’re wondering how to tell if your long-distance girlfriend is cheating, here are a few signs that should help you confirm it.
how to know if your girlfriend is cheating on you in a long distance relationship
She Is Always Busy
This shouldn’t come as a surprise if she has always led an active life full of meetings and hang-outs with new friends. However, if you notice that you are suddenly the last one on the long list of people and have to fight to get a chunk of her attention, maybe someone else is keeping her preoccupied.
It’s Almost Impossible To Reach Her
The internet made us all instantly available and easy to reach. Of course, you can’t expect her to reply to all of your texts in a second, but you should know a thing or two about your partner’s phone use habits.
If you know she practically lives with the phone glued to her hand, but all of a sudden, you can’t reach her on social media, instant messaging apps, or email, something’s not right.
She Takes Too Long To Respond To Texts Only To Be Brief Or Disinterested
She is finally available, but she keeps it short and impersonal. You used to have these hours-long conversations, and now you only get Yes/No/Okay replies.
What has changed? Has she lost interest in you?
Once you feel her energy is not flowing your way (and you can’t miss this), it’s time to sit down and have an open conversation with her.
Your Partner Suddenly Changes Her Behavior
One of the most obvious long-distance relationship cheating signs is when you notice a sudden and persistent change in your partner’s behavior. It could be subtle things like being distant, calling at odd hours, or frequent plans with people you don’t know.
Also, if she starts picking up petty fights and seems distracted and distant even when you are trying to communicate something important, it can be a worrying sign worth discussing.
She Seems Stressed When You Call (And Relaxed When She Calls You)
There’s always a chance that taking a random call from you at her workplace can make your lady feel uncomfortable. That said, if this starts happening even when she said she was at home relaxing, you can be sure something’s cooking behind the scenes.
It usually means that someone else is present that she feels awkward getting lovey-dovey in front of.
She Never Calls From Home Or With Video
If your girl starts calling you only on her way to work, from the car, or while being out in the street, there might be a reason. And usually, the reason is someone who spends a lot of time at her place or maybe even lives there.
Her Stories Don’t Add Up
It’s going to take a toll on your relationship if you start micromanaging her time. However, if you see her tagged in pictures partying when she said she’d be at the library studying, maybe she hasn’t been completely honest with you.
Of course, plans change, and unlike conventional relationships, an LDR means you can’t expect every minute of her time to be accounted for. But if it happens more often than not, there might be something there.
She Gets Mad When You Ask Whether Something Is Wrong
So there is something that’s been bugging you, and you finally decide to address the elephant in the room. When you do that, she starts over-reacting, saying things like “Why are you so insecure” or “You’re crazy to think that.” That’s a major red flag!
On the one hand, she might be bad at managing her temper and communicating her emotions. On the other hand, she might be hiding something and trying to deflect.
Whichever it is, you have a big problem.
She’s Had History Of Cheating
She confided in you that she has been unfaithful in previous relationships, and now you can’t shake the feeling that she’s back to her past behavior and might be cheating on you too. While there is no rule, you need to remember that old habits die hard!
She Shows No Desire To Reunite Anytime Soon
You remember spending days planning your encounters, but now she shows zero signs of desire to meet with you anytime soon.
This might be due to her busy schedule, but something’s up if you also see her being all relaxed and spending a significant amount of time with other people.
Try initiating a conversation, and don’t jump to conclusions. It’s always better to ask than assume.
She Has Many Friends You Don’t Know About
If you have been with your partner for a long time, the chances are that you know most, if not all, of their friends. That goes for both online and offline pals.
If your partner has many friends in their romantic gender preferences that you do not know about, you need to get concerned. More often than not, this is a sign of micro-cheating.
She Is Constantly Phubbing You
Phubbing is what the cool kids these days are using to refer to phone addiction and subsequent snubbing of partners.
If your partner is always on social media, then there is cause for concern. Social media overuse usually leads to micro-cheating and full physical and emotional unfaithfulness later on.
She Has Multiple Social Media Accounts
Having multiple accounts is one of the most common long-distance cheating signs – your partner could be using social media to cheat on you. However, this does not mean that all people with multiple accounts are unfaithful.
The red flag pops up when your partner leaves you completely uninformed of these secondary accounts. If that is the case, then this could be the first sign that your girlfriend is cheating on you in your LDR.
She Is Using Private Accounts
Most social media platforms allow you to hide your content from public view. Using a private account is a completely acceptable practice that is, like multiple accounts, not always a direct sign of cheating.
The problem is when your partner has such an account and refuses to connect with you either by accepting your friend request or following you back. Leaving you completely in the dark on all their social media exploits is a sign that they have something to hide.
She Laughs Alone While On The Phone/Computer
This is somewhat hard to notice when you are in a long-distance relationship because you are not there physically to witness it. But it is hard to miss it when you come together, and you find your gal secretly giggling on the phone.
Whenever you try to find out more, you get hit with “It’s nothing” or “You won’t get it.” In addition to being irksome, it is a red flag you should pay attention to.
She Fails To Acknowledge You As Her Partner
We live in a day and age where if it is not on social media, then it probably didn’t happen. The same applies to relationships.
You do not have to be that couple that is constantly posting couples’ photos together. However, acknowledging each other goes a long way towards making your relationship status public.
If your partner avoids this without any good reason nor does she want you to know her family or her friends, then the chances are that your girlfriend is not only cheating on you but also cheating with you.
She Is Ignoring Your Online Activity
She doesn’t ever leave comments on your posts. She doesn’t like the photos you put up. She acts as though you do not exist. Ignoring happens when your partner is trying to distance herself from you, and this is something you should address.
She Has Regular Communication With A Specific Person
More often, this is an ex or a recent fling they swear is completely harmless. She might claim that the interaction is purely platonic, but there is a fine line between this and micro-cheating.
She Is Over-Protective Of Her Devices
If your partner’s phone/tablet/laptop is better protected than CIA servers, then you might have something to worry about. Over-protectiveness is another one of those signs that point towards the possibility that your partner is hiding something.
How to avoid cheating in a Long Distance Relationship
Cheating in a long-distance relationships can be incredibly devastating. Fortunately, there is a lot that you can do to protect your heart.
Of course, you will never successfully force change on a person or turn them into someone they are not. That said, there are things you can do to ensure that your chances of getting played are at a minimum.
Here are a few of those tips:
Get On The Same Page About Exclusivity
It might seem absurd, but maybe your partner is so ready to cheat because exclusivity is not really a big deal to them. Spare yourself the pain and just have the “define the relationship” talk about establishing boundaries.
Invest In Your Individual Selves
It is incredibly important in LDRs not to rely on each other for everything. Do your best to have a life outside the relationship. Get new hobbies, work on your career, and build healthy relationships. It will give you an inexplicably more powerful bond than you would have being co-dependent.
Make Time For Each Other
Make time to call each other, have virtual dates, and just hang out. This will give you both a chance to remember why you are doing this and how worth it the whole journey will be.
Be Open About Your Insecurities
If something is bothering you about the relationship, do not suffer in silence. Being open about your insecurities is a great way to reinforce boundaries. That way, what he or she sees as harmless flirting doesn’t end up standing out as a micro-cheating red flag for you.
Give Your Partner Some Space
Sometimes all your partner needs to stay faithful is some time and space to be by themselves. It is also a great way to have them miss you and genuinely long for your company. So do not keep flooding them with phone calls and texts and hang-out requests. It will only drive your LDR beau further away!
Bottom Line: how to deal with a cheating girlfriend in a long distance relationship
One thing is for sure – online cheating is alive and rampant in this day and age. The good thing is that the signs she is cheating are pretty easy to pick out.
If your significant other shows one, more, or all of them, you cannot afford to ignore the red flags.
Do some sleuthing of your own and then confront your cheating partner when you are ready. That way, you can get the answers you need to determine whether or not that is a long-distance relationship you want to end.
You will also like to read: How to Know if Your Boyfriend Is Cheating on You in a Long-Distance Relationship.
